AvengersAperture Series 2: The Convention
by GingerFloof26
Summary: GLaDOS takes Loki's son, Jorg, to an Anime convention in an attempt to corrupt him with Midgardian influences, and Loki and Thor end up coming along for the ride. Will they be crushed by the overwhelming forces of their fandoms? Or will the fandoms end up bowing to their wills?


GLaDOS tossed the last of her luggage into the car. "Are you ready, Jorg?" she called. She had promised Loki's offspring-yet again- something his father would not approve of: Three days full of people who would never question his appearance, and furthermore treat him like a star. A place full of internet memes, video games, cartoons and fantasy creatures come to life. And sugar, lots of sugar.

Jorg ran out to the car, cheering happily, wearing a set of child-sized Asgardian armor that Thor had given him. Tala, his dragon-kin mother, was following him, carrying a small suitcase. "Here, GLaDOS, take care of him for the weekend. I have an important investigation to take care of, so get in touch with Loki if there are any problems." She handed GLaDOS the suitcase.

As Tala left, Loki came out of the house, pulling on a boot. He looked flustered, "Where exactly are you going?"

"The Anime convention, father! It will be fun!" Jorg cheered, Loki shook his head.

"GLaDOS, you said you were taking him on a museum tour. I refuse to let my son be corrupted by Midgardian culture." Loki snatched the keys from GLaDOS and dropped them into the trunk, then quickly slammed it shut. "You're not going to this 'Anime convention', Jorg."

GLaDOS, furious about not being able to recruit more test subjects or corrupt young gods, first slugged Loki then the trunk of the car-punching right through the metal. She grabbed the keys as Jorg gaped at his father, who was rubbing his jaw. She tossed them onto the front seat of the vehicle. "I do not believe that the Aperture Science Class D Motor Vehicle is street legal anymore. Perhaps we should take your father's car?" She remarked to the puny half dragon.

"No!" Loki managed through his broken jaw, "No! No! No!"

"But, dad-I wanna go! And Auntie Gladys broke her car!" Jorg pouted, his green eyes watering with the first sign of tears.

Loki popped his jaw back into place with a sickening crunch. "Fine, Jorg, but I'm not trusting your care-or my car- to GLaDOS." He glowered at the android. "Your uncle and I will accompany you there. Thor wanted to go, anyway, apparently Stark and Banner will be there."

"It looks like we're having a road trip." GLaDOS smirked. This should be all kinds of insane.

An hour later, Jorg was nearly crawling up the walls of the backseat, where GLaDOS was feeding him "snacks" and listening to "Robots FTW" on loop.

"Ohh, What's that? Look at THAT!" He sounded like her late curiosity core, she mused.

Thor was more than happy to join in the merriment. "That is a Del Taco, Jorg. They make delicious food there called 'tacos'. Your father and I are quite fond of them."

"What do they taste like?"

"Like Valkyries dancing on your taste buds." Thor chuckled. "Say, GLaDOS, could you pass me the Aperture Science Energy Powder up here?"

"I'll trade them for the literal Pixie Sticks."

"Deal"

Loki's teeth began to grind as he watched Jorg down the Pixie Stick in the rearview mirror. By the time the Mountain Dew came out, Loki was ready to level all of Midgard.

"I need to pee!" Jorg giggled ecstatically as they pulled into the parking lot

Loki pulled Jorg out of the car, turned around and saw the line. He groaned inwardly, there was no way Jorg could hold his bladder that long. He looked over at Thor and GLaDOS. " I need to take him to the restroom, I'll be back to join you in the-line..."

Thor grinned and held up an unopened twelve pack of Mountain Dew, "GLaDOS and I will be fine brother!" Thor walked to the back of the line with GLaDOS, where they were immediately accosted by nerds with cameras.

Loki shook his head and hurried into the convention center with Jorg. Setting Jorg down outside the bathroom, he stood humming a tune while waiting for Jorg to finish. As he stood, wearing his full Asgardian outfit, a few nerds ran up to him with cameras. He sighed and posed for them until Jorg ran out-he was grinning from ear to ear. The nerds began making happy, excited noises as Loki scooped up his son. By the time Loki and Jorg made it back to the line, Jorg had lost his sugar buzz and was napping contentedly with his head on his father's shoulder.

GLaDOS was not pleased by the sight, it meant she had lost her leverage over Loki. But at that moment, she saw something that displeased her even more-walking down the corridor of the center, surrounded by squeeing fangirls and assorted Portal nerds was the Moron. "Oh, God!" She gasped, "He's going to ruin the convention!" she needed Jorg. Now. "Jorg, Jorg!" she whispered urgently at Loki's shoulder, "there's all kinds of JAPANESE candy here!"

Loki spun Jorg away from GLaDOS, "No, no, no! GLaDOS, enough! He will get sick if you keep feeding him candy, I expressly forbid-"

"OH MY GOD!" A horde of slightly deranged fans descended on Thor and Loki, "You two look so hot, you should totally make out for some pictures!"

Thor raised his hands defensively, and a look of horror crossed Loki's face, "This is that thing from the internet-" Thor took a step away from the slavering horde, "-Thorki? No, that's disgusting-"

"-We're brothers!" Loki said as he put Jorg on the ground to push back the fans. "This is disgusting, I should have destroyed Midgard when I had the chance."

GLaDOS scooped up Jorg, the twelve pack of Mountain Dew, and ran like hell. She would probably be banned from the convention for the rest of her life, but it would be worth it. First thing first-get the kid a constant supply of sugar. Dodging out of Loki's sight and into the crowd of squeeing nerds, she tried to blend in, carefully she reached out to pluck a badge from a purse. It said 'Caroline Johnson'. The Irony. Flashing said badge at security, who seemed mesmerized by her charge, she made her way to the 'market' where she immediately purchased a jumbo Pikachu mug with a twisty straw to match. This was filled to the brim with Mountain Dew and given to the wide-eyed and inquisitive Jorg.

Jorg took the mug with the reverence of a sacred relic, and he sucked down the Mountain Dew merrily. The sugar and caffeine flooded his system and his green eyes literally glowed as his energy was restored. He slurped down the Mountain Dew as he looked about the market, his eyes settling on a plastic Mjolnir and a replica of Captain America's shield. He pointed them out wordlessly to GLaDOS, the straw still firmly in his mouth.

"You can have both," GLaDOS told him, "if you help me with a prank I'm planning." She set him on his feet and knelt to be on eye level with him. "There was a man who knocked Auntie out of her lab once. He cursed her and turned her into a potato. And then birds almost ate her." Her eyes darted uneasily at the thought, "but Auntie stopped him before he could blow up the building. The thing is-" she continued, a smile creeping onto her features, "-He's an idiot. A moron. He's so dumb he makes a rock look like a genius. I want the whole world to know how stupid he is."

Jorg smiled, "Can I use magic, Auntie? Dad doesn't let me use magic in Midgard, but I want to do magic." Jorg drained the last of the 'Dew and held the empty Pikachu mug up to GLaDOS. "I want to make the moron look stupid, Auntie."

GLaDOS had to restrain herself from laughing evilly as she refilled the mug. "Yes, you can use magic." She grinned demonically. "Let's go find the Moron."

Consulting a schedule someone had dropped, she was able to determine that Wheatley was hosting a panel called "Is your character a Mary Sue?" in fifteen minutes. Now to keep the child entertained.

Suddenly a nerd ran up, squeeing in a high pitched keen. "You're adorable!" She said to Jorg, "What are you dressed as?"  
Jorg was nonplussed, "I'm just wearing my normal clothes," he told her.

"Oh! He's even in character!" The nerd ranted turning her camera on the young dragon. "Can I take your picture?"

Jorg, immensely pleased with himself, set down the mug, puffed out his chest, and spread his wings. There was a collective gasp from a passerby, and suddenly Jorg was being swarmed by nerd-paparazzi.

It took the entire fifteen minutes for GLaDOS to drag Jorg away from his adoring fans, during when she was accosted by an overenthusiastic Chell cosplayer-who was apparently into ChellDOS. Wiping lip gloss from her face, GLaDOS fled to the panel with Jorg in tow.

Jorg looked around in confusion, "Auntie Gladys, why do they think my wings are fake?" He looked around again and pointed at the panel room, "Are we going in there?"

GLaDOS nodded, Jorg followed her into the darkened panel room, where an android in an ill-fitting white suit and bright blue sunglasses stood on a small stage. He was playing with a laser pointer. Jorg was entranced by the laser pointer and the projector screen, but GLaDOS gave his shoulder a squeeze. Jorg nodded, "Is he the Moron, Auntie Gladys? Do you want me to magic him? I can freeze him to the stage..."

GLaDOS thought for a moment, then asked, "Can you use telekinesis on the laser pointer?"

"Tele-what?" asked Jorg.

GLaDOS sighed and then explained, "Can you make his light-stick float in the air?"

Jorg shook his head, "No, but I can turn invisible..." Jorg disappeared into the shadows, and suddenly the laser pointer left Wheatley's hand and started dancing across the stage at Jorg-height.

The nerds 'Oohed' at Wheatley's 'magic trick', then began to laugh when he began to chase after the laser pointer with obvious consternation. The object gave him a good chase, disappearing into the crowd and causing a commotion as Wheatley practically crawled into people's laps to get it, all the while chanting a mantra of "'Scuse me, pardon me, sorry 'bout that."

GLaDOS smirked and began to chuckle. Now for the finishing touch. "Here Jorg!" She called, raising an open hand. The pointer soared over the heads of the last two rows, as did Wheatley. As GLaDOS caught the pointer, Wheatley face planted at GLaDOS' feet.

"PWNed!" cheered Jorg happily, and the crowd picked up the chant. "Pwned, pwned, pwned!"

Jorg ran over to GLaDOS and stood on Wheatley's back, holding his arms open for a hug-but, as GLaDOS opened her arms, Jorg grabbed his Pikachu mug and slurped down the remainder. "Can I have a toy now, Auntie?" He asked as he danced on Wheatley's back with armored feet.

The slight disappointment of being mug-zoned did not dampen GLaDOS' victory in the least. "Yes, you may have your toy."

"Me Gusta!" yelled Jorg happily, to the delight of the nerds, and the two were almost pushed down the corridor by the wave of Geekdom that all wanted to see what toy the child would pick. Jorg's eyes grew wide upon reaching the market and all of the delights he had slept through before.

Jorg pointed out the toy Mjolnir and a light-up toy Tesseract. "I want those, Auntie!" As Jorg bounced up and down, a metal clad hand dropped onto his shoulder.

"Nice choice kid, but what about this?" Tony Stark, in his Iron Man armor, but with the helm open, handed a toy Iron Man mask to the bouncing Jorg. "So, you're the kid stealing my thunder today. Who are you?"

Jorg stared up at Iron man, green eyes glowing. "I am Jorgmander, royal bastard of Asgard, You're Tony Stark, right? My dad doesn't like you."

Stark gave a short bark of laughter. "Yes, and he makes that perfectly obvious." He then turned to GLaDOS and raised an eyebrow. "Auntie?"

"I'm babysitting." GLaDOS pretended to examine her nails.

"I didn't know that babysitting entailed highjacking entire panels," Stark replied.

GLaDOS smirked, "That's just an added bonus."

"Auntie, the toys, please?" begged Jorg.

"Well, he did do your dirty work." Stark prompted.

GLaDOS laughed and handed over the money. A delighted Jorg received his mask, hammer and tesseract-and another refill of Mountain Dew.

Jorg began to run amok, chasing Tony Stark with the toy Mjolnir and pounding on the armor with ineffective strikes. "I'm going to get you, Stark!"

Stark laughed and put a hand on Jorg's forehead, keeping the boy at arm's length. "So, where's his parents, GLaDOS? And what the hell was his mother, seriously, Loki's not even this weird..."

"His mother is a dragon." GLaDOS informed Stark, "Hence the wings."

"Mr. Stark, why do people think my wings are fake?" asked Jorg.

Stark stared blankly forward, "A dragon... Loki..." Stark made a few vaguely obscene hand gestures, "..Well, Jorg, probably because people around here don't normally have wings."

Jorg stopped swinging to ponder, "A lot of people in the Enclave don't have wings but they don't think I am weird." He smacked Stark in the arm with the hammer.

"The Enclave?" Stark asked, releasing Jorg who suddenly headbutt his armor.

Jorg recoiled from the armor, rubbing his forehead. "It's where mum and I live and where she works." Jorg gave Stark another strike with the hammer. "I'm hungry Auntie, can we get food? I want to go get lunch with dad and Uncle Thor."

"Wait, they're both here?" Stark picked up the thrashing Jorg, being careful of the wings.

Jorg headbutted Stark, "Yeah, they got attacked by girls, they were saying dirty things."

GLaDOS' face was grave, "Thorki, Stark, they wanted Thorki."

Stark groaned and face-palmed.

"What's Thorki?" Asked Jorg.

"The one dark corner of the internet you are NEVER allowed to access." GLaDOS shuddered.

"Is it a meme?" Jorg pressed further.

"NEVER to access." GLaDOS repeated, "It is evil, pure and unadulterated. It will suck out your soul and leave you a shell."

"How do you know? Have you looked at it? How did you keep your soul?"

"I'm a robot, Jorg, I have no soul."

"But, your Minion says-"

"We need to get them out of there," Stark interrupted.  
GLaDOS sighed. Some things just had to be done. For science.

Jorg smiled, "can I be an Avenger?"

Stark set him down, "Sure you can, kid-but your dad hates the Avengers."

Jorg beamed, "But he promised to love me no matter what, so he wouldn't hate me!"

Stark ruffled his hair, "Alright, you're an Avenger now, let's go rescue your dad and uncle."

Jorg made a whooshing noise and ran into the hall, into the mass of nerds outside. Stark followed him out, shaking his head at all the nerds wanting autographs.

GLaDOS uttered a few choice words about neurotoxin in an attempt to part the crowd, but was only swamped further by delighted fans as a result. "OMG, you sound just like her! "Your voice is perfect, How'd you get it that way?!"

"I AM HER!" Yelled the enraged android.

"JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK SHE IS?!" Screamed a Kamina cosplayer from an adjoining hallway, and mercifully as the mass turned towards the noise yelling, "OMG, Gurren Laggan!" GLaDOS and Stark made a break for it, sprinting after Jorg who seemed to be following some sort of homing instinct.

As the three 'Avengers' ran through the convention, Thor and Loki were fighting off hordes of fans. A pair of overly large panties was hanging off of Thor's winged helmet and Loki was brandishing one of his silver daggers. The fans had them cornered and they were both on the verge of going 'Asgardian' on the fans.

"Brother, what kind of special Hell is this?" Loki shouted, fighting off a furry with a few swipes of his knife.

"I don't know, but I fear we may have to fight our way out."

And then Jorg charged into the fray with a terrible battle cry, swinging his hammer at the crazed furry's head. The blow knocked off the fursuit's head off and exposed her eyes to the full, glaring, cuteness of Jorg's Asgardian squee-ness. She gave an all mighty otaku nerd shriek of "KAWAII!" causing everyone to turn their heads. Dozens of eyes fastened on the immature warrior, who cried out: "You are in the presence of Jorgmander, Royal bastard of Asgard. KNEEL BEFORE ME!"

In the face of such overwhelming adorableness the nerds did what any sane person would do, and knelt. In the sudden silence that followed, Jorg turned to his father and asked, "Are you proud of me, father?"

"Yes, Jorg, I'm very proud of you." Loki ruffled his son's hair. Thor face-palmed.

"No, Jorg, this isn't how you are supposed to treat mortals. You should be kind and benevolent." Thor shook his head and helped one of the nerds up, who immediately attached himself to Thor in a death-grip hug. Thor panicked and Jorg saved him with a sudden strike from his toy hammer.

Jorg flapped his wings, "Back on your knees, mortal nerd!"

"That's my boy," Loki beamed.

Stark waded through the mass of grovelling geeks, "So the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. All of you, clear out, alright?" Stark gave Thor a proper bro-hug. "So, how are you holding up?"  
"I am well, Stark, how fare you and the Lady Pepper?"

"We're doing alright. How 'bout you, Loki, how did you enjoy Spellhold prison?" Stark asked, clapping Loki on the shoulder.

"It's lovely, the food is just awful and I slept on a stone slab." Loki pulled Jorg close and slipped out from under Stark's friendly grasp.

GLaDOS snickered. This was quite satisfying. Two of her nemesis "PWNed," as Jorg would put it, in one day. And just wait till Jorg told his father about the wonderful day he had.

Jorg squirmed, "Can we get lunch, dad? I'm hungry."

Loki nodded, "Of course."

As the group left the main corridor, and Jorg's kneeling nerds behind, there came a sudden cry of stupidity: "You ruined my panel! It was important... I think."

Loki glowered at Wheatley, pulling Jorg closer to him- before he could speak, however, Thor pointed Mjolnir at Wheatley's steel chest. "You dare threaten Jorgmander, who is of the house of Odin?"

"Um, yes, I think I am. You see, he ruined my panel, which was...uh... very important. And, she-" Wheatley pointed an accusatory finger at GLaDOS, "-made him do it. She's been feeding him sugar, and making him do her evil bidding."

Loki looked down at his son, who was bouncing slightly, "Jorg, how much sugar have you had today?"

"Lots. Auntie Gladys gave it to me. I like sugar," Jorg jittered.

Loki glowered now at GLaDOS, "This is exactly what I was trying to avoid. Do you realize how hard he is to control without being loaded with sugar and caffeine?"

"Do you realize how easy he is to control when you do promise him sugar and caffeine?" GLaDOS countered. "He made my arch-nemesis here look like the complete moron he is with a simple trick!"

"I'm NOT a moron!" protested Wheatley, but Loki wasn't listening. "A trick, you say?"

GLaDOS, spying an opportunity, continued, "Oh, yes, the boy is quite clever. With a little training, he'll be pulling pranks in no time. He'll cause mischief and chaos everywhere!

"I'm not sure-" Thor began, but Loki interrupted him. "And you are willing to provide said 'training'?"

"Yes." GLaDOS nodded. "For Science."

Loki thought of giving his offspring access to unlimited amounts of sugar and caffeine horrified him, but not as much as the thought of bringing him up in the ways of mischief and chaos thrilled him. And this diminutive little man with his horrible fashion sense and obvious mental handicaps WAS the perfect target for pranking...

"Fine." said Loki. "But we do this..." his face contorted as he forced himself to spit out the word- "Together."

GLaDOS nearly shut down from surprise. Was he seriously going to go along with it? Did he really think he could hinder her plans for his son? But then again, were her plans for Jorg really so different from his? Processing this all in a few milliseconds, she made her decision. "Deal."

"Does this mean I get to make the idiot look stupid again, Father?" burbled Jorg happily.

"Yes. Yes it does," said Loki, and tittered.

This time Glados couldn't resist some evil laughter on her part

Three pairs of eager eyes fastened themselves on Wheatley; two green, one yellow.

Wheatley tried meeting them, failed, and proceeded to haul ass out of the convention center.

"GET HIM!" Jorg yelled, and his devoted nerd army happily obeyed.


End file.
